Saturday, January 23, 2010
General Terms with Cool Definitions
Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.***********
Love affairs:Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.***********
Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master***********
Divorce:Future tense of marriage***********
Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.***********
Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.***********
Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.***********
Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .***********
Dictionary:A place where divorce comes before marriage.***********
Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.***********
Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.***********
Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.***********
Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.***********
Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.***********
Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.***********
Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.***********
Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.***********
Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.***********
Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.***********
Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.***********
Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.***********
Opportunist:A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.***********
Optimist:A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.***********
Pessimist:A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY**********
Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.***********
Father:A banker provided by nature.***********
Criminal:A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.***********
Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.***********
Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.***********
Boss: Someone who comes early when you are late and is late when you come early.***********
Classic:Books, which people praise but do not read.***********
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake that everybody believes he got the largest piece.***********
Committee:A group of individuals who can do nothing individually but sit to decide that nothing can be done together.***********
Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.***********
Conference Room:A venue where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody agrees later.***********
Dictionary:A place where pay, reward and success come before work.***********
Doctor:A medical person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with bills.***********
Etc.: A grammatical sign used to make people believe that you know more than you do.***********
Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.***********
Father: A banker provided by nature.***********
Lecture: The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to that of the students without going through the brains of either.***********
Life Insurance: A contact that keeps you poor all your life so that you can be rich after.***********
Marriage:An agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. ***********
Nurse: A person who wakes you to give you sleeping pills.***********
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homely life.***********
Philosopher: A man who torments himself all his life to become wise after death. ***********
Politician:Someone who shakes your hand before the elections and your confidence after.***********
Saturday and Sunday: Are strong days as the others are weak days (weekdays). ***********
School:A place where Papa pays and son plays.***********
Friday, January 22, 2010
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