CD in drive
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen!
Tech support: OK, I see Aaaa!
White Comp
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Icon on Left
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Printer Problem
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
Password
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
AntiVirus Program
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Screen Saver
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Weird Computer Problems and Tech Support
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sachin & Sourav when 85 years old
Sachin and Ganguly, 75 and 80 years old are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They sake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They sake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."
Nice Quotes
IF YOU START JUDGING PEOPLE YOU WILL BE HAVING NO TIME TO LOVE THEM - MOTHER THERESA
THE DREAM IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE IN SLEEP......DREAM IS WHICH DOES NOT LET YOU SLEEP. - DR. ABDUL KALAM (Former President of the Republic of India)NO MAN IS RICH ENOUGH TO BUY HIS PAST - - OSCAR WILDE
IF YOU WANT REAL PEACE,.... DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS,...TALK WITH YOUR ENEMIES - MOTHER THERESA
NEVER BREAK FOUR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE,
a) TRUST,
b) PROMISE,
c) RELATIONSHIP and
d) HEART
BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE BUT PAIN A LOT - CHARLES
IF SOMEONE FEELS THAT THEY HAD NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THEIR LIFE,THEN IT MEANS THEY HAD NEVER TRIED A NEW THING IN THEIR LIFE - ALBERT EINSTEIN
NICE QUOTES
IF YOU START JUDGING PEOPLE YOU WILL BE HAVING NO TIME TO LOVE THEM - MOTHER THERESA
THE DREAM IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE IN SLEEP......DREAM IS WHICH DOES NOT LET YOU SLEEP. - DR. ABDUL KALAM (Former President of the Republic of India)NO MAN IS RICH ENOUGH TO BUY HIS PAST - - OSCAR WILDE
IF YOU WANT REAL PEACE,.... DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS,...TALK WITH YOUR ENEMIES - MOTHER THERESA
NEVER BREAK FOUR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE,
a) TRUST,
b) PROMISE,
c) RELATIONSHIP and
d) HEART
BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE BUT PAIN A LOT - CHARLES
IF SOMEONE FEELS THAT THEY HAD NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THEIR LIFE,THEN IT MEANS THEY HAD NEVER TRIED A NEW THING IN THEIR LIFE - ALBERT EINSTEIN
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think "it will get better"
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil
You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.
They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.
Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
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